Campaign for Real Beauty

Many people have complained recently about the constant – and morally-deficient – marketing and skewed societal ideals that our kids are exposed to everyday. Yet aside from parents limiting TV time or controlling what channels their kids watch or magazines they read, few have done anything to actually put a stop to it.

Yet Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty, launched in September 2004, has continuously sought to increase self-esteem in women by reevaluating our concept of beauty - and the way the media conditions our daughters to think about their bodies. 

Dove’s newest ad, called “Onslaught,” is part of the Dove Self-Esteem Fund, dedicated to changing the way both women and girls understand beauty.  The one-minute video, already being touted as a “triumph,” has been featured on the news and was one of the top-viewed videos on YouTube the day it debuted in the U.K.

So it’s powerful, to say the least. And also poignantly true. The video opens with the face of an adorable little girl, smiling for the camera and reminding us all of the innocence of youth. This is followed by a literal onslaught of images, documenting the way the media teaches girls about being thin, sexy, and beautiful through miracle products, fad diets, and plastic surgery. Once you’re sufficiently disgusted by the juxtaposition of these images and that of the little girl, Dove spells out their message: “Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does.”

While Dove is clearly building its own brand name with these campaigns, at least their motive is noble. The Self-Esteem campaign plans to reach 5 million young women by 2010 through different programs, breaking down stereotypes about beauty and changing the way girls and women think about themselves and each other. With resources for both girls and parents online, Dove is dedicated to empowering women in an unprecedented way - with the type of ad a mom can get behind.

It’s time we all rethink what beauty means – and what messages we are giving to our daughters.

kajeet: "How Cool!"

When I first was told about the new kajeet phone for tweens and teens, I was a little skeptical. That was until the Sanya Katana sleek blue cell phones arrived at my doorstep and my 13-year-old son immediately claimed it and my 14-year-old daughter exclaimed “how cool is this!” Now they both have better phones than I do!

The kajeet phone is great because it allows the parents the control of some of the earlier kid phones, but the downloads, features, and cool, sleek phones that tweens and teens like to have. Some of the best features include:

TimeManager:   Parents and kids can set times when their kajeet phone can and can't be used. This feature can prevent your child's phone from ringing in the middle of the school day, or shut down the phone at 7:00 at night when homework becomes the main focus.

WalletManager: Each phone offers virtual "wallets" for you and your kids, allowing families to determine who pays for what. For example, you can have your child pay for texting or downloads, so that they learn how to be responsible with their phone use. This feature also makes sure important calls, like those from you, will always get through.

ContactManager: This feature enables families to decide who can call your child and who your child can call. By logging onto the kajeet site, you and your child can easily block anyone you do not wish to call or text your child's phone: from strangers to the bully in the hall.

FeatureManager: Decide what features such as IM, picture messaging, web browsing, or downloads your kid can use anytime with online management.  kajeet offers a full array of voice, text, picture, and instant messaging services that allow on-the-go kids to stay connected and communicate in their own style.

So for all those parents who have tweens and pre-tweens (yes, as we know, they are clamoring for cell phones to!) check out kajeet in order to meet somewhere in the middle where we get the control we need to meet our technology concerns, but still declared completely cool by our kids!

We Believe in Girls…

You know the 21st century has officially arrived when the classic Barbie doll has one upped herself. To draw on the best of the careers Barbie has held since I was a young girl and to counter any focus on raising girls valuing simply how they look (and let’s face it, Barbie has always looked more than good), Mattel has recently created a new website “We Believe in Girls” to help young girls stay true to themselves. With Barbie only a silhouette in the background and no commercialism in sight (or on site!), Mattel has given us all a forum to lend our voices and opinions on this provocative topic. 

As the mom of a 14-year-old girl as well as a parenting author, I find myself constantly filled with angst about what it means to raise a girl today Writing in one’s diary has been replaced with Facebook, with all it’s inherent dangers, cliques and predators. Sleepovers and painting nails, has become replaces with requests to get one’s nails done. Forget good old Levis, and hello to expensive “I Just Have to Have These!” designer jeans. For me, I am willing to give a standing ovation to anyone working to restore a sense of self and self-actualization to our next generation of women.

To foster debate and discussion, Mattel has launched a whole website dedicated to their We Believe in Girls campaign, at www.WeBelieveInGirls.com. Here, moms and girls from across the world can connect with one another to discuss the issues affecting girls growing up in today’s world, share stories and profiles, and upload favorite pictures of dolls and, most importantly, their owners.  In addition to this, Mattel is working towards becoming a powerful advocate for the lives of girls around the world by participating in philanthropic and nonprofit initiatives, weighing in on governmental issues, and supporting scholarships and endowments as today’s girls become tomorrow’s women. Gotta love that!

Image: We Believe In Girls

Moms Being Heard

Finally some good news on the political front – Moms matter. That’s the message being sent by the MamaVote initiative, courtesy of TodaysMama.

TodaysMama, which was started by two young mothers in 2004, is a website dedicated to empowering mothers personally and professionally. The site, todaysmama.com, provides resources and opportunities for mothers everywhere. Recognizing, as many do, that Moms have something important to say, they’ve expanded to include MamaVote, which is dedicated to educating moms about bringing the good they create into their own homes into the political arena.

Mamavote.com will educate and inspire women to get involved in everything from local school boards to national elections. Rather than pushing an ideology, the site is meant only to further empower women, and is a strictly non-partisan resource. With information, articles, facts, blogs, and more, MamaVote truly teaches moms not only the importance of the political process, but the value of their role in it as well.

As MamaVote knows, one vote can certainly make a difference – especially when that vote is a Mom’s.


Image: Today's Mama

Are we ready to send traditional family road trips packing?

With all of today’s technology we can easily make it through a seven-hour family road trip without complete meltdowns from hot and tired kids in the back. In our air conditioned cars we now are hooked up to ipods, DVD players, cell phones and video games, making our ride go much more smoothly and seemingly faster (that is until our batteries start running low or…disaster...completely run out) But the trade-off is: we’re not communicating!

Remember when we were kids and our family road trips consisted of songs, road sign games, playing G-H-O-S-T, 20 questions, spotting license plates, telling stories and tidbits of family lore, not breathing as we passed cemeteries, sibling squabbles, sticky seats and yes…even a little boredom. And without that GPS system our parents debated directions and missed exits, while thumbing through the road atlas. But today, instead of piling in the car together and enjoying one another’s company, we become instantly absorbed in everything but each other. Lisa Segelman’s recent Newsweek article “The Family Road Trip: Strangers in a Minivan” completely resonated with the trends I am seeing in my own life as well as within the Mom space as she describes the ways that technology has thoroughly changed her family’s road trips and thus family relations on vacation.

Because we are so connected to the world at the push of a button, we can take our work, emails, text messaging, phone calls, music and books on tape into the car on our laptops and cell phones and ipods, and virtually forget that we are even on vacation with our family. In my family, my daughter’s friends join the ride via cell phone chat and texting, while we have to periodically check on our son lost within the alternative reality of his video games and ipod music.   

And so it seems our memories of family road trips are simply driving off into the sunset.

For kids who are reluctant to trade their electronic playground for family time, create trip rules that allow time in the car for both family bonding and individual entertainment (and you can always turn those accrued game points into your kids’ spending money on the trip!)  And challenge your kids in the games and story telling we so loved as the family hit the road.

Start with the alphabet game where everyone has to share what they are bringing on vacation, with the rule that ”A” cannot be I am bringing my Apple ipod or iphone!, “B” is batteries for my electronic games, “C” is cell phone,  “D” is DVDs, “E” is ear buds for the MP3 player, “F” is friends cell phone numbers, “G’ is Gameboy, and so on down the technology cocoon of family retreat!

Image: Getty Images

A New Benefit to Adoption

All those who complain that celebrities only adopt for the attention may want to start singing a different tune. It seems that – in part due to the increased attention on adoption and its growing popularity nationwide – more employers are offering benefits to employees who choose to adopt. In fact, while only about a third of employees offered these benefits – such as paid time off or cash reimbursement for certain fees – four years ago, that number is now right around half.

Many companies allow new parents to take paid maternity leave whether they’ve just given birth or added to their family through adoption. And while that trend has been growing over the past few years, companies are now even starting to offer cash to adoptive parents – which, though taxable income, can be used for legal fees, health care, or even the cost of travel.

And we’re not just talking about the amount of a plane ticket. General Mills, for example, provides up to $10,000 per adopted child, and they will double that if both parents are employees of the company. This is on top of the parental leave they provide to both mother and father, and they also allow an employee who has taken time off to work part-time for eight weeks before officially returning to work full-time, to help make the transition easier for everyone.

These types of benefits make a huge difference not only to those who have already made the decision to adopt, but those who may be considering it, but feel daunted by the costs or worry that the time they need to invest will put their jobs in jeopardy.

So whether or not we have Madonna and Angelina to thank for getting companies to start paying attention to parents who chose to adopt, it’s certainly plausible that the increased attention on Hollywood adoption has increased interest in adoption everywhere.  This is just one more important step companies are now taking in order to be more family-friendly – which is something we can all appreciate. 

Image: Getty Images

The Momblockers (ie Dads)

Here’s a story I thought I would never come across: according to MSNBC, not only are more and more dads staying home full-time to raise their kids, but their working wives are starting to feel “momblocked” as their partners take over the majority of the home and child-related responsibilities.

Many moms are now finding themselves in an uncomfortable situation when their husbands start to know more about their child’s needs than they do or consistently use a type of discipline they wouldn’t use. Yet the majority of mothers, working and stay-at-home both, frequently report that they wish their husbands did more around the house.

So what’s the problem?

Experts seem to agree that the bottom line is that both parents need to support each other. If the decision is made that Dad will stay home, Mom shouldn’t nitpick or criticize and should respect that he has his own ways of doing things. Likewise, Dad should do the same when Mom is in charge – even if her methods are different than his. Communication and mutual respect are key. No matter who stays home with the kids – or whether both parents work – parenting is not a competition. It is a shared responsibility. Mom should feel no more threatened by a stay-at-home Dad than a working dad should feel of a stay-at-home Mom.

Furthermore, studies suggest there are several advantages – most notably academic and social - for both boys and girls when they grow up with a father who is very involved in their day-to-day lives. The type of rough play a father engages in with his kids is also beneficial to both mental and physical development. Even varying types of discipline can be just as effective when used consistently.

So, Moms – no matter our family situation, when our husbands want to change a diaper or cook a meal, the answer seems to be: let them. It will do everyone some good.

IDK, my BFF Jill…

Okay, let’s admit it – we all chuckle at that Cingular commercial where the mom must decipher her young daughter’s text messaging acronyms in order to engage her in conversation (“Me paying this bill – that’s what’s SNF!”). Yet this type of speech has earned the title of full-blown trend recently, especially among tweens – the most avid instant and text message-ers.

For years now parents have been worried about decoding what their children were saying online, and English teachers feared these modern acronyms would be the destruction of everything they’d worked so hard to teach. And if you happen to have a tween in your home, OMG, IDK, and JK might just be phrases you’ve heard used in conversation once or twice.

Yet while trends like this cause some to lament the way modern technology ruins young minds. According to the Virginian-Pilot, one linguist, David Crystal, thinks that parents have nothing to worry about. He claims that this is just a fad, one which usually wears off by the time a teenager reaches high school, and doesn’t expect any of these abbreviations to remain for posterity. Although he wouldn’t be shocked if one or two did – after all, even ancient cultures used acronyms, and ASAP, which made its first dictionary appearance in 1955, is used without a second thought all the time. 

So what should parents do when faced with kids who talk in cryptic abbreviations? Since this trend seems to fade, you could always wait it out. Or, like the Cingular mom, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. At the website lingo2word.com, you can type in an abbreviation and find out the corresponding English phrase. KWIM? GL.

Meet My Trophy Husband

It turns out Gen-Xers really are different than their parents – as parents. Although an impressive 43% of male Baby Boomers said in a survey that they would be willing to stay at home to raise their children, that number jumped to 60% among males of Generation X. And they’ve been making good on the claim. Even back in 2002, Fortune reported that, of its “50 Most Powerful Women in Business,” over a third had stay-at-home spouses. Or, as they’re known in some circles, “trophy husbands.”

This is something society is seeing more often every day, as couples wait longer to get married and have kids, and some women are not only well established in their careers, but earning more than their husbands. Many families – in fact, more than ever before – are fitting comfortably into this new mold, despite the dirty looks, questions, or biases some stay-at-home dads must face.

But we should be giving fathers credit for realizing that family comes first. Why not congratulate these dads rather than criticize them? I think it’s safe to assume any woman with a husband who is willing to stay home with their kids counts herself lucky. It’s a sign of the times that now both parents feel not only the need – but the desire – to balance work and family and spend as much time as possible with their kids.

One stay-at-home dad even started his own blog about the experience – “Confessions of a Trophy Husband” – which can be found, cleverly enough, at www.mydaddoesnotwork.com. Besides blogs, message boards and both on- and offline groups have been cropping up for the dad-as-primary-caregiver. It seems like society really has changed – and this time for the better. Guess those Gen-Xers were paying attention after all

Image: Smitty Cartoons

The Graying of First-Time Mommies

Sure we’ve seen the photos of Britney, Angelina, and Gwyneth glowing with pregnancy, but it’s the ones of Sharon Stone, Joan Lunden and Cheryl Tiegs alongside their younger expectant counterparts that make us stare. There’s no longer a stigma in waiting until your 30s, 40s, or even 50s to start a family; it’s almost fashionable. Yet, medical research and surveys of women suggest that the ideal age to have a baby is in one’s 20s. A younger body has a more fine-tuned reproductive system and is generally stronger and more resilient to bear the stresses of pregnancy, labor, and child-rearing. So why are more women making the decision to wait?

The Centers for Disease Control report that, in the past decade, the number of women ages 45 and over having babies has doubled. Improved medical care and advancements in reproductive technology play some part in this trend. As Americans live longer and in better health, the urgency of conceiving fades. There is a reassurance of more time. Women with the option to advance their careers and life goals may pursue these first. Partners may hold off on marriage and starting a family.  Glamorous celebrities make being an older mom seem like an easy and attractive option, promoting the “if they can do it, why can’t I?” mentality. Fertility magazines are emerging that cater to a graying generation of first-time moms, such as Plum. But, even though society may be embracing this trend, are there still caveats?

The answer is a definite yes. Although research has shown minimal increased risk of low birth weight, prematurity, and pregnancy-related diseases such as pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes in healthy older women, these women typically have “older” eggs and irregular menstruation, meaning a higher chance of genetic disorders and infertility. Miscarriage is also more common. One in 8 women under 35 years miscarries; the rate jumps to 1 in 3 women over 40. In vitro fertilization and donor eggs or embryos are commonly needed.

A recent National Institutes of Health-funded study found that half of first-time moms 45 years and older needed C-sections. Although not clear why, reasons could be that older women naturally have higher rates of certain risk factors that complicate pregnancy, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and obesity. The use of fertility treatments alone can increase the risk of complications. Health issues aside, any new mom will have to deal with the extra stress of sleep deprivation and round-the-clock care that an infant demands.

Wanna-be moms of any age do have more options than ever before, but that doesn’t mean throw caution to the wind. Be savvy to possible risks that rise with age, discuss your health history and genetic testing with your healthcare provider, and keep up good prenatal care.

Image: TIME