Hollywood 101

Very few of us can honestly say we weren’t a little interested when we heard the news of the latest celebrity debacle. We may have even picked up that tabloid in the grocery store line to peruse the gossip. After all, we’re only human. And somewhere, deep down, maybe we do take some pleasure in the fact that seemingly perfect celebrities are not only imperfect, but sometimes wildly flawed.

Which is why it was surprising to come across a recent article about how parents can learn a few lessons from their favorite gossip column personalities. That is, until I actually read the article.

Dr. Laura Berman, writing for the Chicago Sun-Times, picked out 3 important details that all parents should know. Of course, they probably know them already, but sometimes Hollywood can be a little behind.

First: a parent should not try to be a child’s friend. Kids have enough friends – what they need is someone who can set clear limits, not someone who is afraid to say no. It is a large problem not only amongst celebrities, but also for many parents of “Generation Me.” But with expensive toys and games, all-expense paid vacations, matching (and not to mention inappropriate) mommy-and-me outfits, and even parents taking their teens to clubs, celebrities may have surpassed the rest of America when it comes to this destructive trend. I didn’t see the photo of Melanie Griffith lighting her daughter’s cigarette, but somehow it doesn’t surprise me.

Second: along with not being your children’s friend, you should also not try to be their “warden.” The example? Why, Joe Simpson, of course. Which is simply too substantial and disturbing of a subject to get into here. Suffice it to say that parents should not be controlling every aspect of their (especially adult) children’s life. (Note to self for helicopter parents.) It’s important to recognize that discipline and assistance are both very different things than dominance. At some point, it becomes time to let go – at least a little – and let your child use the lessons you have taught them to venture out on their own, make their own mistakes, learn from them, and flourish.

Third: always remember that you serve as a model for your child, and that they will learn everything – from their values to their beliefs to what they expect of a relationship – from the example you set. This is not a surprising lesson to learn from Hollywood, as many stars act as if they don’t have children at all. Following her mother along to clubs perhaps led to Drew Barrymore’s own addiction problems before she even reached her teen years, and one has to be glad Britney Spears’ sons are too young to be paying attention to the example she has been setting lately.

Guess all us regular Moms we can all let go of that celebrity dream!

Superman's Super Kids: Christopher Reeve's Legacy Lives On

It's not often lately that we get to hear a powerfully touching story about celebrity children that doesn't also include some mention of designer baby wear or unusual nomenclature. But the late Superman actor and activist Christopher Reeve's two adult children, Matthew and Alexandra, are two such celebrity children worth celebrating.

After the death of their step-mom Dana Reeve, Christopher's second wife and mother of their son, Will, now 14 years old, Reeve's eldest children decided to serve on the board of the Christopher Reeve Foundation. The foundation was created after Reeve's traumatic horse riding accident in which he was paralyzed some 12 years ago, and funds research for cures and therapies for paralysis.

This past November 6th, Alexandra, Matthew and Will all joined together to celebrate the foundation's annual gala in New York City. Alexandra, 22, is currently attending Columbia Law School and Matthew, 26, is a filmmaker who has worked alongside his father on several projects prior to Reeve's death. Both adult siblings have become like parents to their younger half-sibling and are proving to be as remarkable as their father and stepmother long after their parents' deaths.

Both siblings speak fondly of the memories they have of their father in a recent People magazine feature story. I find it personally moving and rewarding to see pictures of these children absolutely glowing and talking about how through the tragedy of their dad and step-mom's passing, they are more determined than ever to achieve the things their parents had wanted, for themselves and the world.

I hope that other families see the love and respect these "celebrity" kids continue to show for their own brood and commend them. Dana Reeve asked her family and friends that no pressure be put on her children to continue her and her husband's legacy... and yet the desire was there nonetheless. Vastly inspiring, don't you think?

Image from chrisreevehomepage.com

Reese and Ryan Split: Great Celebrity Parents Hit the Skids

In a not so surprising announcement made Monday night by the couple's spokesperson, Reese Witherspoon and husband Ryan Phillippe have decided to split after seven years of marriage and the production of two (beautiful) children, Ava, 7 and Deacon, 3.

While I'm not that surprised, considering the speculation and talk of marital problems from the get-go, I am saddened by the news that the two are separating. Although there is no mention yet of divorce, the announcement made by the spokesperson does not sound terribly hopeful:

We are saddened to announce that Reese and Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.

They very mention of "Reese" before "Ryan" is what doubters of the couple's potential to last have long considered the reason why the marriage wasn't working. Reese Witherspoon has achieved more film and career success than her husband. But how ironic for this to happen just as Ryan has a critically acclaimed role in the movie Flags of Our Fathers and has burst into the limelight himself. Or perhaps not ironic, but telling. It is when Ryan is finally empowered in his role as an actor that he can withdraw in his role as the over-shadowed husband.

And yet I find myself heart-broken for Reese in particular. She always put her family first, and tried so hard to constantly point out her respect and support for her husband. But she became an A-lister, pulling in tens of millions of dollars while Ryan had straggling roles to netted him about $500,000 as the most. So while Reese has been bringing home the bacon and doting on her kids, Ryan has appeared to be silently fuming for years about his less-than star status and backseat role for his wife. What got lost in the process was the young love and passion for each other they shared before their careers careened on different trajectories. Maybe with space apart that can be reclaimed. Especially as it is clear that they both adore their kids, and ultimately talked of wanting more. 

Either way, I hope that whatever path Reese and Ryan take, alone or together, they continue to show up other celebrity parents with their constant displays of attention to and investment in the lives of their two very loved children.

Image from movies.yahoo.com

Celebrities Playing Nice

Every once in awhile, away from the parties and red carpets, celebrities will do something that takes us by surprise. Today, it's separated couple Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. The separation of the two celebrities has been making headlines for months, capturing our attention as accusations of death threats cause retraining orders to fly. For ten months we have watched this drama unfold, wondering how this will affect their two daughters, 2-year-old Sam and 1-year-old Lola.

Though their divorce remains unfinalized, the two declared in August that they had resolved outstanding issues in their divorce and were now focused on spending time with their children. And it turns out, they weren't just making up nice statements for the benefit of the press. Recently the two were spotted spending time together out as a family, attending a local fall festival. A friend of Richards, 35, confirms "they're working really hard to be friends and great parents."

And the shocking news doesn't stop there. Not only were the foursome together, but Sheen brought along girlfriend of four months, Brooke Mueller. "Denise wants her to feel comfortable," says a friend. "She put together a bag with toys for her and the girls along with a card telling her she's glad (Brooke) makes their father so happy."

That seems pretty big of Richards, whose own six month relationship with Richie Sambora (former neighbor and former best friend's husband) also seems to be going well.

I have to say, I admire both Richards and Sheen for making the effort to spend harmonious time together with their children. It cannot be easy given the depth of animosity they have conjured up towards each other.

There may be hope of family stability yet for those adorable daughters of theirs.

Image from: People

African Adoption...Hurting or Helping?

Recent reports have surfaced that pop queen Madonna has adopted a 1-year-old Malawian boy. She is just one in the line of celebrities taking in children from third world countries. Angelina Jolie has adopted Maddox from Cambodia and Zahara from Ethiopia. Mia Farrow actually may be the celebrity grandmother of the trend since she adopted her first child in 1973 from war ravaged Vietnam.

However, international child welfare societies are beginning to question whether or not pulling a child from their natural surroundings is within the child's best interest. Pam Wilson, of the Johannesburg Child Welfare Society, asks, "Are celebrities doing it for the right reasons and not to make a statement?" 

It is estimated by the United Nations that by 2010, 18 million African children will have lost a parent to AIDS.

There are already 43 million orphans in the world's poorest continent.

In the past Africa has tried to keep adoption within the country, but it has become increasingly impossible to find adoptive parents.  Africa has made agreements for adoption with only a few European countries such as Finland and Belgium, as well as Botswana.

Although westerners have their heart in the right place trying to adopted HIV-positive children from Africa, it is questionable if they know the long-term implications. There have been hundreds of partnerships formed within Africa in order to lower the stigmatization surrounding HIV-positive children. Also, although Madonna's new baby boy will have every luxury afforded to him, is he also being stripped of his African culture?

The biological father of Madonna's adopted son has been quoted as saying "I am very, very happy because you can see there is poverty in this village and I know he will be very well looked after in America." His joy seems to be one of gratitude that his son will not know the struggles of growing up in a disease-ravaged country. With disease and hunger dominating Malawi, the adopted boy's father is grateful for his social rise and airlift out of poverty.

While Madonna's adoption is meant to signify to the world her commitment to fighting poverty and hunger in Africa, it actually does little to aid the millions of other orphans not fortunate enough to be adopted by an A-lister. The problem in Africa is larger than a single adoption and needs all of us (and our national government) to donate money and support to aid in the nourishment of Africa's lost children instead of affording one the lap of luxury.

Image: CNN

Massachusetts says No to Bad Dad Bobby Brown

If you did not already know, R&B singer Bobby Brown and his even more famous R&B singing wife, Whitney Houston, are in the midst of a very public, heated divorce. And apparently, the drug-addled, allegedly adulterous husband of the powerhouse chanteuse believes that the very public nature of his impending divorce excuses him from his duties as a father. Bobby Brown was arrested this week for skipping out on two months worth of child support to the mother of two of Brown's children from a previous relationship. At trial, Brown's lawyer insisted that Bobby's "public divorce" warranted some leniency. The astute Judge did not agree.

Brown's lawyer, Phaedra Parks, argued to Judge Paula Carey in a Massachusetts court this past Monday, that it was a "very difficult time" for Bobby and Whitney, and that "the media is very aware of this very public divorce that's going on right now." How incredibly gutsy of Brown and his representation to assume that celebrity perks meant skipping out on child support consecutive months in a row. Is there no irony in the fact that it is also publicly known that Brown can easily afford to pay child support, having been paid to star in his own reality show this past year and having been pictured on red carpets in expensive clothes, jewelry and being driven around in flashy, status-seeking vehicles?

Thankfully for single moms everywhere, Judge Carey did not sympathize, finding, "Whether or not [Brown is] going through a divorce doesn't negate the fact that he still owes child support relative to his two children that he had prior to this marriage."

Finally one piece of tabloid gossip everyone should hear.

Image from popmatters

Disappointing Daddy Lohan at it again

In the wake of the Lindsay Lohan editorial cartoon, Michael Lohan has not gotten it all out of his system yet. Lindsay's father is sending an open letter to be printed in the British newspaper The Sun. What happened to private family matters, I muse?

The letter expresses Michael's regret towards his actions and the portrayal of the Lohans in the media. The media craze around the Lohan family has been constantly critiqued - from Michael's incarceration to the scandalous pictures that revealed the corrupt closeness of mother and daughter.

In his open media letter Michael writes, "I also know the pain that comes with love, especially when two hearts and lives are divided. Sometimes we run - we seek to hide or just escape from the pain." I can only guess that he is referring to Lindsay and himself, but may I ask if he is writing such letters to his other children? The Lohan clan includes two other children, Aliana and Dakota. Both are also aspiring actors and models, but have yet to make it onto the A-list with their big sister. Apparently they do not merit mention in Michael's letter campaign.

At one point Michael writes of Lindsay, " You are an amazingly blessed, talented, intelligent and loving person. Use it to do good! To set an example by putting God and his principles first. Your love for life and people is a gift."

Here is where my cringe factor weighs in heavily: I want to stand up and declare, You have got to be kidding! This comes across as publicity-hungry, dishonest outpouring of emotion. Dad Lohan has certainly not led by example...let's see: he is writing from jail and estranged from his entire family. Maybe his words would have sounded more sincere if he did not print them for the public eye. 

My feeling is that this letter is just another missive in Michael's grasping for publicity while in jail. No doubt, even as a convict he may have a shot at the role of "good Lohan parent of the year" since his ex-wife Diana seems to have ruined her chances.

It seems it would be more beneficial to Lindsay if her dad's personal letters to her stayed just that...personal. No wonder Lindsay dashes from the loving arms of one boy to the next in a quest to mute the parental disharmony in her life. And The Sun should just refuse to publish the letter as being below even their apparently very low editorial standards. The whole thing is ridiculous, and it saddens me to have consumed today's blog. Escapist, but pathetic and voyeuristic. Can't help but feel a great parent yourself given the Lohan debacles on parade.

Image from Perez Hilton

Crystal in the Fridge? Only Brought to you by MTV Cribs

I don’t know about you, but I am not really sure I want my children to take after Vince Neil (shown here). With the new MTV show Cribs, we get a peek into the swanky lives of the rich and famous. Welcome to celebrity homes, over-the-top bathrooms, island retreats, garages packed with cool cars or motorcycles, and everything in between.

To quote MTV themselves Cribs is “the most exciting way to peep into your favorite celebrities' homes without getting slapped with a restraining order.” I know that MTV wants to position itself as an “edgy” channel, but I would draw the line at the close-ups of Playboy bunnies and stripper poles.

MTV’s website for the show comes off more like a personal ad for celebrities. They describe Latin singer Paulina by saying “Almost every room in the house overlooks [the ocean]; including her bathroom, complete with a steam room to make her sweat and give her a "natural glow." When the paparazzi are at her front door she does yoga to stay calm or escapes on her boat.” Well...fascinating?

Even though we all try to monitor what our children watch, the media available to them is overwhelming to say the least. Kids could be watching Cribs on their iPod after downloading it from MTV Overdrive. Right along with Paris Hilton’s music video “Stars Are Blind” (but that is a whole other blog).  Sometimes there is little we can do to control our children’s viewing habits.   

If I was to make a synopsis of a typical episode, it would go as follows: celeb enters glamorous, cutting-edge kitchen, where he or she never cooks, cleans, or does the dishes.

Celeb opens fridge that contains no food because as we all know eating is not really “in” right now.

Following them through the hallway to their bedroom, it seems that MTV has done some editing because in order to get from one room to another in this house in a reasonable amount of time, they must fast-forward. First stop is the kid’s room (if the celeb has a child). The room is flooded with toys and fantasy décor, but where is the child?

Occasionally the child will be present, but more often than not we just see a nicely decorated empty room. The celeb’s own room is usually plush with over-the-top furniture that looks as though it is never used. Who is able to keep a white couch around with kids in the house? I don’t even dare do it now with a 12- and 13-year-old.

Last, but certainly not least, the pool area. What better to top off an ostentatious piece of real estate? The pools usually have Jacuzzis coming off the side, and occasionally a rockslide; just another fixture to increase your child’s materialism and desire for wealth. Suddenly, his new, expensive bike he was so excited for looks worthless. 

Cribs TV show pulls kids in because it adds a personal glimpse into the world of celebrities, but it is hardly a reality. Empty refrigerators, most usually not a book in sight, and (if you are Tommy Lee) a mirror over the bed, all produce a picture of unrealistic domesticity. I wouldn’t want my children taking cues from these celebrities on what “making it” means. Maybe instead of them introducing us to their extravagant “pads” they could find a more subtle way to have kids make connections.

What ever happened to personal space anyway?

Forget, The Sears Portrait - We're Going to Vanity Fair!

Baby photos. We used to think:  Sears portrait, mailed to us in envelopes from nieces, sisters or friends. But for celebrities, the baby photo is taking on a whole new meaning and in a much bigger, more expensive way.

Brangelina debuted their Shiloh Nouvel for a whopping price tag of 4 million dollars on the covers of People and Hello! in the UK and OK! magazine. Mira Sorvino followed suit presenting her new born son Johnny in the same issue.  In Australia. Gwen Stefani and hubby Gavin Rossdale show off their sons Kingston James in a magazine as well. 

Welcome to Celeb Hollywood baby announcements. Geri Halliwell waited ten days after giving birth to have her baby photographed. Brooke Shields waited a conservative 23 days to do the same. And, hello to TomKat - Suri's 5-months-post-birth birth announcement consumed most of an issue of Vanity Fair.

The new rash of baby celeb photo debuts and hefty amounts of money being doled out for them has got me thinking about days gone by - remember I Love Lucy? Little Ricky, Desi Arnaz Jr., son to Desi Arnaz, Sr. and Lucille Ball, was the most highly anticipated baby of his day. Much like Shiloh Nouvel today, Lucy and Desi's baby was awaited worldwide. Little Ricky ended up on the cover of TV Guide - a big deal for a baby in 1953.

Aha: I almost forgot that this is not a new trend at all.

When Prince William was born in 1982 there were actually crowds forming outside of the hospital where Prince Charles and Princess Diana were holed up. Granted I can't fly to Namibia to stand outside of a bamboo hut in order to catch a glimpse of the latest star child but baby William was an important baby for both Brits and non-Brits who welcomed his arrival.

Even Caroline and John F. Kennedy, Jr captured the American public when JFK took office in 1961. John, born just weeks after his father was elected as president, helped to solidify what became the people's love for and fascination with the first young couple in the White House since the beginning of the century.

Other famous celebrity children of years past include Liza Minnelli, Lisa Marie Presley, and Chastity Bono.

So, I guess the question is - what's next? Will every celebrity out there by vying for multimillion dollar inquiries into the pictures of their offspring?

Probably not... but our interest in these baby pictures is sure to catapault more celeb babies to magazine photo shoots.

Image from babyrazzi

Paparazzi...how far is too far?

I know that we all love the day to day pictures of celebrities and their children, but have we ever stepped back to think about who is taking those pictures? I am no different from the rest of you… I, too, ascribe to the notion that they are celebrities and being stalked by photographers is just part of the job. However, the position of a famous parent is a tough one. Not only do they have to nuture their child, but also shield them from the hordes of hungry photographers grappling to take their photos.

I was reminded of this situation while watching a VH1 special on celebrity babies. One of the segments showed Gwyneth Paltrow trying to take a walk on the New York City streets with her newborn baby Apple. Photographers shooted from the opposite side of the street for her to take her baby out of the stroller and some even got up enough nerve to approach her and block her path. Finally Gwyneth took her small child out of the carriage and cradled her against her chest as photographers quickly snapped photos. What would you have done in this situation? As a child to a celebrity are you ever granted privacy?

I know what you may be thinking…celebrity parents know that their child is going to always be in the limelight, so just deal with it. However, now more than ever, celebrity babies seem to be gaining the same (if not more) notoriety than their parents right out of the womb. Even Matt Damon (pictured here with his newborn Isabella) who does not enjoy or seem to encourage the limelight, can not escape the camera bulbs.  Would Brad and Angelina be in the news as much if they hadn’t just had Shiloh? Would the paparazzi be flashing their bulbs around Telluride, Colorado if Suri wasn’t there?

Personally I do not need to see Brad Pitt changing a diaper. In a recent interview conducted with Newsweek, helicopters were buzzing over the Pitt-Jolie residence. I understand the rights of photographers and America’s continual need for celebrity fodder, but a line has been crossed when it comes to these children. Alright, except maybe Suri... I mean with all the TomKat PDA displays and publicity leading up to the birth, a simple photo would be lovely.

In the meantime, let's hope that the photojournalists give the celeb children some breathing room so they have the possibility of living a semi-normal life. Plus, you have got to simply respect celebrities like Felicity Huffman and Bill Macy who go out of their way to keep their children from the limelight, and living regular lives. If the kids turn out to be crazy, clearly the celebrity parents are hardly the only ones to blame!

Images from: Celebrity Baby and Trek Earth